The Problem You're Facing Right Now
You're playing something — maybe Elden Ring, Ghost of Tsushima, or Baldur's Gate 3 — and you've hit a wall. You've tried 15 times. 30 times. Attempt number 50 didn't work either. Now you're asking yourself: Am I actually terrible at this game, or is the design itself just broken?
That question doesn't have a single answer. And here's the thing — most players can't tell the difference between the two types of difficulty at all.
Fair Difficulty vs. Frustrating Difficulty
In my opinion, after years of gaming, the difference is obvious if you actually pay attention to it:
Fair Difficulty (The Kind Worth Pushing Through)
The game warns you. It gives you a chance to learn. It shows you the pattern before it kills you.
Take Elden Ring — when you face any boss, the game leaves you clear weaknesses to find. The boss has certain attacks that repeat. If you try three times, you'll notice there's a specific window where you can counter-attack. That's fair. The challenge isn't random — it demands practice and strategy.
Same thing with Cuphead — which is brutally difficult, honestly — every boss has movement patterns you can figure out after a few attempts. The difficulty here isn't about luck; it's about precision and timing.
Fair difficulty basically tells you straight up: "You need better skill or a different strategy."
Frustrating Difficulty (The Kind You Should Ignore)
The game hits you from a direction you never saw coming. Or the boss has one attack that one-shots you with zero warning. Or there's randomness involved — sometimes the same strategy wins, sometimes it doesn't.
I played this game called Code Vein years ago. It was trying to be Dark Souls, but some bosses had attacks that made zero sense and killed you from out of nowhere. No clear pattern. No way to predict it. Failing just makes you feel wronged, not unskilled. That's frustration with no purpose.
And then there's cheap difficulty: giving the boss massive health pools or having enemies swarm you from all directions at once. That's not a challenge — that's broken balance.
How to Tell the Difference in Practice
Test One: Are You Learning From Failure?
After 5 failed attempts, did you discover something new about the boss or area? Did you learn you need a specific weapon, or that there's a shortcut, or that the attack comes after a certain move?
If yes — keep going. You're making real progress, even if it's slow.
If no — you're just swinging in the dark. Stop.
Test Two: Is There An Alternative Path?
Good games give you options. In Baldur's Gate 3, if you can't win the fight, you might sweet-talk your way through dialogue, cast a spell, or even avoid the boss entirely.
In Ghost of Tsushima, if the direct confrontation is brutal, you sneak around and thin out the enemy numbers first.
But if the game forces you down one single path with no alternatives — that's lazy design, not real difficulty.
Test Three: Can Another Weaker Player Still Win?
Jump on YouTube and search "speedrunner vs boss" or watch random players tackling the same section. If you see people at different skill levels succeeding — the problem's with you and you need practice. But if even pro players complain that a particular section is "unfair" and broken — listen to them.
Practical Tips Before You Quit
1. Change Your Gear and Settings
I've noticed this constantly: players struggling because they're using the wrong weapon or default settings. In Elden Ring, switching your spell loadout or summoning a cooperator can completely change the fight. Try everything before you call the game frustrating.
2. Ask For a Hint, Not the Solution
There's a huge difference between watching the entire fight on YouTube and reading one tip then trying again yourself. Don't watch the whole thing — just ask: Is there a weakness? Do I need a specific weapon? Then try it yourself.
3. Put the Game Down and Come Back Later
This actually works and it's not quitting. Sometimes you just need mental rest. A tired player can't think clearly. After two days off, you might solve it on your first try back.
4. Lower the Difficulty Without Shame
Gaming is for fun, not punishment. If the current difficulty is taking away your enjoyment instead of adding to it — turn it down. There's no shame in this. Modern games often have flexible difficulty options (like Baldur's Gate 3 where you can adjust mid-game).
When Do You Actually Give Up?
I quit when it becomes clear the design itself is flawed. Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice — famously brutal. I beat it three times. But there's one section near the end that genuinely frustrated me. Other games pulled off the same difficulty concept way better.
When repeated failure stops teaching me anything new — that's when I stop. I don't feel bad about it. Gaming is about enjoyment, not self-torture.
Final Word
Push through if you're learning something from each death. Switch up your strategy or ask for one hint before you quit. But never, ever spend hours fighting something frustrating just because you feel obligated to.
A game that kills your fun isn't legendary. It's just difficult. And a game that's both difficult AND fair? That's a real gem worth your time.
